The rehearsal dinner is the calm before the wedding. It gives both families a chance to meet, and it lets you thank the people who are helping. It is a US tradition that many UK couples now copy, often in a smaller form.
What is a rehearsal dinner?
The rehearsal comes first. The couple, the wedding party, the officiant and the parents walk through the ceremony at the venue. The dinner follows. It is a relaxed meal, not a second wedding.
Who to invite
- The couple, and both sets of parents
- The wedding party, with partners
- The officiant, and anyone with a reading or role in the ceremony
- Grandparents and siblings, if you wish
- Out-of-town guests, if the budget allows
Anyone who is not at the rehearsal should not feel left out. Tell your wider guests that the evening is for the wedding party and family. Our guest list guide helps you decide where to draw the line.
Who pays for the rehearsal dinner?
Tradition says the groom's family pays. Many families still follow it, and many do not. There are three common options.
| Option | When it works |
|---|---|
| One family hosts | That family offers and can afford it |
| Both families share | Families have a similar budget |
| The couple pays | They want control of the list and the venue |
Ask early. If a family offers to host, say thank you, then agree the guest count and the budget together.
Choosing the venue and the style
- A restaurant. Easy, with no setup. Book a private room for a large group.
- The wedding venue. Easy for guests, and some venues offer a package.
- A family home or a garden. Warm and cheaper, with catering from a local supplier.
- A pub or a casual spot. Relaxed for a small group.
- A picnic or barbecue. Good for a summer wedding with a big, informal family.
Choose a place close to the wedding venue or the hotel. Guests will travel the next day, so keep the evening easy.
A sample rehearsal dinner timeline
| Time | What happens |
|---|---|
| 4:00 pm | Rehearsal at the ceremony venue |
| 5:30 pm | Travel to the dinner venue |
| 6:00 pm | Drinks and welcome |
| 7:00 pm | Dinner is served |
| 8:30 pm | Toasts and thank-you gifts |
| 9:30 pm | Goodbyes. Everyone gets an early night. |
Adjust the times to your ceremony. Our guide to the wedding day itinerary helps you plan the next day too.
Toasts and speeches
The rehearsal dinner is the place for the longer, warmer, funnier speeches. Keep the wedding-day speeches for the formal ones.
- The hosts welcome everyone, and thank the guests for coming.
- The couple thank their families and the wedding party.
- Parents or friends may share a short story. Keep it to two minutes.
- Agree who speaks before the evening, so no one is surprised.
Rehearsal dinner gifts and extras
- Thank-you gifts for the wedding party
- A welcome bag for out-of-town guests, with a schedule and a map
- A slideshow or a playlist of photos from the couple's life
- Place cards, so guests from both families sit together
Rehearsal dinner budget
Plan for these costs, and add them as one line in your wedding budget.
- Food and drinks for every guest
- Room hire and any minimum spend
- Service charge or tip
- Decor, flowers and place cards
- Gifts for the wedding party
- Transport, if the venue is far from the hotel
Our wedding budget calculator has room for these extras. Many couples forget them.
UK and US customs
In the US, the rehearsal dinner is expected for most weddings. In the UK, a formal rehearsal dinner is less common. Many UK couples hold a pre-wedding drink at the hotel, a family meal, or a welcome evening the day before. Choose the form that fits your families.
Frequently asked questions
What is a rehearsal dinner?
A rehearsal dinner is a meal on the evening before the wedding, after a practice run of the ceremony. It brings the couple's families and the wedding party together. It is common in the US. In the UK, many couples hold a smaller pre-wedding meal or drinks instead.
Who pays for the rehearsal dinner?
Traditionally, the groom's family paid, in the US. Today, there is no rule. The couple, one family or both families share the cost. Agree it early and in writing, so there are no surprises.
Who is invited to the rehearsal dinner?
Invite the wedding party, both sets of parents, the officiant and anyone who takes part in the ceremony, with their partners. Many couples also invite grandparents, siblings and out-of-town guests. Decide the list before you choose a venue.
When should you hold the rehearsal dinner?
Hold it the evening before the wedding, after the rehearsal at the venue. Start early enough that everyone can go to bed on time. For a Saturday wedding, Friday evening is standard.
How much does a rehearsal dinner cost?
It depends on the guest count, the venue and the menu. Costs per head are close to a normal restaurant meal. Plan for food, drinks, a tip or service charge and any room hire. Set a budget, then choose the venue to fit.
Do you have to have a rehearsal dinner?
No. It is a tradition, not a rule. If your families are small or live nearby, a relaxed drink or a meal at home can work as well. Skip it if the cost or the stress outweighs the value.
Plan the whole weekend
Build the schedule for the rehearsal, the dinner and the wedding in ForeverAfter, next to your budget and guest list.
Related guides: Your Wedding Planning Timeline, 1 Month Wedding Checklist, Wedding Seating Chart Tips.